I've been a horrible blogger lately. There's been stuff on my mind, I just haven't had the motivation to sit down and write about it. Maybe I'm becoming more introspective. I'm usually a verbal processor, so the blog works for me. But, sometimes if I have too much on my mind, the thought of sifting through it all and making it coherent becomes overwhelming.
First, there was Easter. I still haven't uploaded those pictures, so when some random post has a picture of Evan hunting eggs, you'll know why. Church is a big part of our lives so of course Easter is a big deal in our household, but I have to be honest, I'm also a huge fan of the candy. I have a ridiculous theory that the candy at Easter is supremely better and somehow fresher than all of the other holidays. Something about the time of year, or maybe it's the pastels...But, this year the recession seemed to hit Easter candy hard. Some of my favorites weren't even on the shelves, and then the clearance supply was pathetic.
Second there was my reluctance to be transparent on just how much I've been obsessed with the whole "Twilight" phenomenon. I don't think I could accurately quantify how much of my time has been spent reading the books (repeatedly) and dissecting the movie, so I won't try. It's crazy, I know. I'm slowly breaking the spell...but probably only because I've run out of things to read.
And there was my birthday and the inevitable Ecclesiastical moment I had shortly after. You know, "Meaningless, meaningless..." Every year is the same but different, until we die...what is there to look forward to...what's my purpose really...? Thankfully, my husband called attention to my slightly out-of-whack perspective and reminded me of my purpose. He's good for me like that.
More than anything, though, I've felt change in the air, and change always depresses me. Believe it or not, I came to the realization a few days ago that I am not looking forward to the summer. I know that sounds crazy, summer is great, right...10 weeks off to hang out at the pool? But, work is routine, and I love routine. I enjoy my days home with Evan, but I also enjoy the balance that working part time allows me. And honestly, the days get long when I'm home all the time. I'm not looking forward to the monotony, the loneliness, or the irritability that comes with being around a toddler non-stop. And of course, the change in my routine, even if it's a good change.
This summer will be all about change for us, that's probably why I'm so introspective. Luckily, most often change occurs in an instant and then it's over. The thing that wasn't suddenly is and then it becomes part of my routine, and I adjust. See what I mean, I'm like a philosopher these days - ha!