Lately, it seems as if we're making more and more preparations for the inevitable "baby #2." We're still a few months off from officially trying, but it's beeping loudly on the radar, and we're finding that more of our decisions seem to be impacted by that upcoming change.
We've waited as long as possible, and I'm still pretty sure that I'm not even remotely ready. Having a second child is probably the most unselfish decision Jeff and I have ever made. We're content with the way things are, but every day Evan does something that screams, "hello, I'm an extrovert and I would totally love having a brother or sister to play with!" He's definitely the kind of kid that needs a sibling, (you know, the kind that follows their cat around calling it their best friend,) and I know that he's going to be a great big brother.
Not to say that I'm dreading it, because there really are a lot of things about having a baby again that excite me, but I don't do so well with change (newsflash,) and having two is definitely different than having one. Plus, it feels like we've come so far with Evan. Just today he dragged the trash can up from the curb all by himself while I carried the recycling bin. At first I was humoring him and figured he couldn't really do it, but he did. He drug that thing like a pro all the way up the driveway. How grown up is he! And then I think about starting all over and repeating the last 2 1/2 years - it feels overwhelming!
But last night I had a dream, and it was so vivid and real. I was in labor with our second child and it was a girl. I swear to you that, minus the pain, I fully experienced her delivery in my dream. It was so surreal. The doctor handed her to me and I saw her. Not in a blurry dream-like way - I really saw her. I nursed her, and it was easy, and she was great at it. The dream ended with Jeff and I trying to decide what to name her (like I wouldn't already have that picked out!)
I didn't wake up with a sudden case of baby fever, but I did feel a tad more ready to start this journey. I think that was God's way of helping me prepare. He gave all of those fears and reservations of mine a cute, cuddly, and majestic face. You can't argue with that!